Chemical Analysis of a Man

Element: Man
Symbol: Ah (abbreviation for Asshole)
Discoverer: Eve
Ocurrence: Found following dual element Wo, often in high concentration
near a Wo specimen.

Physical properties:
a) Surface often covered with hair
b) Boils when inconvenienced, freezes when faced with Logic and Common
Sense,
melts if treated like a God.
c) Obnoxious when mixed with C*H*-OH (any alcohol).
d) Gains considerable mass as specimen ages, loses reactive nature.
e) When pressure is applied, becomes stiff and unyielding; yields only when
subtlety, subterfuge, flattery are applied

Chemical properties:
a) All forms desire reaction with Wo, even when no further reaction is
possible.
b) Most powerful embittering and aggravating agent known to Wo.
c) Is repelled by most household appliances and common household cleansers.
d) Is repelled by small children clothed in diapers, particularly those of
the malodorous variety.
e) Is neutral to common courtesy and fairness.

Uses:
a) Heavy boxes, top shelves, long walks late at night, free dinners for
Wo...

CAUTION:
a) Tends to react extremely violently when other Man interferes with
reaction
to a particular Wo specimen. Otherwise very malleable under correct
conditions.